Eleven years old

Dear Anthony,

Eleven years ago today you entered this world and our lives would forever change. I should have known by the nature of your birth, you were here to show us a different way of doing things. You were two weeks late and fought the process every step of the way. Even from the beginning, your spirit was incredibly strong and you were definitely doing things your own way.

When you were three, the doctors told us you had Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. They also told us you had Autism. They spent a lot of time proceeding to tell us about all the things you could not do, the things you would never do, and exactly what your life was going to look like. They painted a picture of your future intellectually as well as physically based on fears, limitations and other people’s history.

So far, not ONE prediction they made that day has been right. Your story was unwritten and had never been read before. They just didn’t understand. They just simply didn’t know any better. And ever since then, you have consistently challenged everyone you have ever met, especially those who love you the most. You have amazed us at every turn. We have stopped trying to predict anything when it comes to you.

Having the privilege of being your Mom has been truly extraordinary. You have taught me so much. I’ve always been the kind of person who had to have a plan. And I have definitely always been more comfortable when things went my way according to that plan. But right from the beginning, you made it clear that’s not the way it would go. The plan for you was going to be much larger than anything I could ever envision. When I look now at all the people you have touched and changed and how large your life really is, I am grateful it wasn’t my plan that was followed. I could have never imagined this journey. You have already contributed more to this world in eleven years than my little ideas could have ever done justice.

I must admit, I was really scared that I wouldn’t be up to the task. I couldn’t figure out for the longest time why I was the one chosen to be your Mom. I was such an unqualified candidate. But with each difficult decision that was made, you taught me to trust. You defined grace. You taught me that things are going to be they way they are going to be and I’m just here to support you on this wild ride. I get that now. I promise I will always love you exactly for who you are. I promise to live with open eyes and an open heart. When I feel fear, I promise to look at you, so full of hope and love that I will have no choice but to be filled with joy instead. I promise I’ll always go to bat for you when you can’t. On those days that are really tough, I’ll hold your hand and we’ll kick down that door to heaven together. And on all the other days in between, I promise to try to give back even half of what you have given to me.

Happy Birthday, buddy….. You’re a wonderful, smart, funny, brave eleven year old who I just couldn’t be more fortunate and blessed to call my son.